Back to school

OK, so I admittedly did a poor job with this blog last semester. Still, it’s  new semester and a new attempt at keeping this thing running.

On here you will find a recap of what we did each day as well as links and supplemental information for Cerritos College journalism students (and journalism students in general).

Let’s see how it goes.

What we did Jan. 25

This recap is a bit delayed, but it is here nonetheless.

We spent the bulk of class workshopping ledes and really getting to the heart of why they’re so important and why they need to be both clear and complete.

Hopefully students came away with the idea that they need to read anything they write with a fresh set of eyes, as if they’re coming to a story without a sense of what happened. Does the lede make sense after you read it? Does it give you a clear picture of what happened and why it should matter to you? Does it answer all your basic questions or leave you wanting more?

Remember, we want to push out as much information in that first sentence as we can without overloading it to the point of confusion.

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I want to stress what’s behind our revision policy.

Writing is a process. No one’s a natural. You get better by trying, having your work corrected and trying again. This is the same process you have for any creative art.

You’re not only allowed to revise any written assignment (except for our midterm project and final project), you’re encouraged to do so. It helps hammer home the correction the next time you write.

Think about it as you would think of sports or music. If you golf, you have a coach pull your leg back, square your shoulders, etc. when he/she is judging your swing. He/she doesn’t just tell you what you or doing wrong. He/she physically moves your body, then has you swing again. Similarly, a guitar instructor isn’t going to just tell you you need to arch your fingers rather than pressing in at the knuckle when you first start out. Rather, he/she will physically move your finger until the placement feels natural. It’s a process of correction, followed by practice.

My four ledes

We’ll be workshopping these in class tomorrow.

1. An art student damaged a Picasso at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York on Friday when she lost her balance and fell into the painting.

“The Actor” suffered a 6-inch tear in the lower right-hand corner of the canvas but can be repaired, a statement from the Met said.

This is a good start. I didn’t cloud that first sentence with too many facts, but the second sentence needs some work. Paintings don’t have feelings, so I’m pretty sure they can’t suffer. I don’t need to get that the student wasn’t identified in the first sentence, but I should probably get it in early. I’m fine delaying the name of the painting … it’s not one of Picasso’s best known works, but I could probably name it in the first sentence and be fine, too.

An art student damaged a Picasso at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York on Friday when she lost her balance and fell into the painting.

The Met said in a statement that it will repair the 6-inch tear the unidentified student left in the lower right-hand corner of the canvas of “The Artist.”

This is pretty clunky. It’s like the two sentences don’t merge into one another. Let’s go with the first version and work on word choice instead.

Also, I don’t need to lede my second sentence with my source. My source isn’t controversial, so I don’t need to make a huge point of it here. I can move it to the end of the sentence.

An art student damaged a Picasso at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York on Friday when she lost her balance and fell into the painting.

“The Actor” had a 6-inch tear in the lower right-hand corner of the canvas but can be repaired, a statement from the Met said.

The museum declined to identify the student.

The language is less exciting, but the news is there, and it’s accurate. I didn’t bother to note the lack of an ID on the student until the third graph. It’s probably OK there.

2. Delaware Attorney General Beau Biden announced via e-mail Monday that he will run for re-election to his current post rather than vying for the Senate seat his father vacated when he became vice president.

This one’s tricky. I went with a summary lede, because we’re dealing with politicians (should be known people) and it’s pretty straightforward. But if we really look into the news value here, we can see it isn’t the right approach.

The district attorney of Delaware matters to very few people outside of Delaware, and we probably wouldn’t care about this election were it not for the fact that it involved potentially the son of the vice president.

We all should know Beau Biden (he figured prominently during the campaign, but I’m guessing many of us don’t. Let’s delay his name.

Should I try to get the “why” in as well?

The son of Joe Biden ended speculation Monday that he would run for the Senate seat his father vacated to become vice president, saying instead he would seek re-election to the Delaware district attorney position he currently holds.

Beau Biden said in an e-mail that he felt obligated to remain attorney general until a high-profile molestation case he is prosecuting is complete.

The first sentence is wordy, but it is complete. I can live with it. Am I being 100 percent accurate in the second sentence? He cited the need to focus on the case, not any obligation to finish it. I need to write what he said, not what I think he meant.

The son of Joe Biden ended speculation Monday that he would run for the Senate seat his father vacated to become vice president, saying instead he would seek re-election to the Delaware district attorney position he currently holds.

Beau Biden said in an e-mail that he wanted to focus on a high-profile molestation case and did not want to leave the attorney general post before it was complete.

This is more accurate. I can live with it.

3. One hundred seventeen members of a Russian Orthodox church in Irktusk, Russia, were hospitalized Jan. 19 after drinking holy water from a stagnant pond, a spokesman for the Irktusk Investigative Committee said.

This is not a good lede. There’s too much here and too many words are repeated. I need to spell out a number if it starts a sentence, but it looks silly. This is one of those moments where being accurate is important, but being specific isn’t. I need to get 117 in there somewhere, but I can lede with “more than 100” and have the same impact.

The drinking water probably is the cause, so I want it in the lede, but I also need to be careful to quickly note that investigators have yet to determine the cause. And speaking of investigators, do I really need to formally name them in the lede, or can I just call them investigators and specify their proper name later?

One more note: Epiphany is a time when all water is considered holy and drinkable in the Russian Orthodox faith, so maybe I should work the Epiphany angle in. (It pays to know a little bit about everything if you’re a journalist. It’s also worth looking up topics related to your subject as you write.

More than 100 members of a Russian Orthodox church were hospitalized Jan. 19 after drinking water from a stagnant pond during Epiphany celebrations in Irktusk, Russia.

Investigators have yet to determine what caused the 117 congregation members to get sick, but most water in Russia is considered undrinkable.

Much better. My facts are in order. The sentences are clear. I need to get the official name of the source in later and can probably specify what I know about Epiphany in the Russia Orthodox church as the story proceeds.

4. Ali Hassan al-Majid, aka “Chemical Ali” and a cousin of Saddam Hussein, was killed by hanging Monday in Baghdad, Iraqi government officials said.

Al-Majid had been convicted in a series of killings, many of which came from him ordering a poison gas attack on Kurds in Halabja in 1988 that killed 5,000 people.

I didn’t do much more than repeat what was on the fact sheet, and it shows. Let’s break it down.

I don’t know Ali Hassan al-Majid, but I do know “Chemical Ali.” He was the most notorious of Saddam’s henchmen, and his nickname was frequently used in the run-up to Desert Storm and the current war. His attack on a Kurdish village in 1988 was one of the major selling points the U.S. and its allies made when arguing Saddam’s reign needed to end. I need to focus on this in my lede and not on his proper name.

The chemical attack on the Kurds is a major moment in Iraqi history. I need that in the first sentence.

As for the cousin bit, brutality was an “all in the family” thing for Saddam. Most of his henchmen and high-ranking officials were relatives. Get it in, but don’t feel obligated to lede with it.

Saddam Hussein’s most notorious henchman, who garnered the nickname “Chemical Ali” after ordering a poison gas attack on Kurdish civilians in 1988, was executed Monday in Baghdad, Iraqi officials said.

Ali Hassan al-Majid was hanged after being convicted for his role in multiple deaths in the Halabja attack, which killed 5,000 men, women and children.

This is more like it. The “men, women and children” bit at the end is either unnecessary or a little poetic license to drive home it was an attack on a village rather than a military outpost. I’ll let an editor decide whether to leave it in or take it out.

We talked about only reporting what you know on other ledes, and I’ll stick with it. But sometimes there’s enough evidence that I’m OK with stating things as fact. I usually only do so on major historic events that are well documented. Do I know Chemical Ali ordered the attack? Do I know 5,000 people really were killed? No, but there is a lot of evidence, and he never disputed the attack, though he disputed some claims about the dead and said it was justified given his post within the government. Hopefully I can touch on this somewhere in my story.

I’d feel pretty silly couching this, as I would feel saying Barack Obama, whom election officials say won the 2008 election; Pope Benedict XVI, whom news reports claim is the pope; or the World Trade Center towers, which video evidence suggests fell after being hit by planes in 2001.

One of the issues with couching your language too much is that it makes it appear you are a skeptic. The Sept. 11 one is a prime example. There are a lot of conspiracy theorists who don’t believe the official Sept. 11 story. Do I inadvertently show bias toward them by writing “World Trade Center towers, which video evidence suggests fell after being hit by planes in 2001”? Do I lead readers to think I’m disputing Sept. 11 by writing this way?

Try another one: Adolph Hitler allegedly ordered the extermination of millions of Jews and dissidents in concentration camps, historians claim.

Do I know for a fact that the Holocaust happened? No. I don’t even know that World War II or the year 1945 happened. I wasn’t there. I don’t even know Hitler existed. But at the same time, in a quest to couch my language, I make myself appear to be a Holocaust denier rather than someone striving for accuracy. It’s better on historic issues to roll the dice a little bit to avoid appearing silly.

Don’t forget, you want your reader to know your intention. If your intention isn’t Holocaust denial, don’t couch your language in a way that implies it.

RIP, J.D. Salinger

Columnist for the Ursinus College student newspaper. (He wrote some other stuff, too.)

My ledes (latest installment)

LOS ANGELES — A jury convicted a Los Angeles man of second-degree murder Monday for killing Bryan R. Frost, a USC student. (20)

Travion T. Ford, 25, faces up to 16 years in prison when he is sentenced Oct. 29. (37)

All the facts are here, but this is backward. Of course a jury convicted him. I shouldn’t lead with them. I should lead with him. Notice the dateline. I was in court, so I can include it.

LOS ANGELES — A 25-year-old Los Angeles man was convicted of second-degree murder Monday in the killing of a USC student. (21)

Travion T. Ford, 25, faces up to 16 years in prison when he is sentenced Oct. 29. (38)

The first sentence is wordy and boring. Can I tighten it? Can I add details?

LOS ANGELES — A 25-year-old Los Angeles man was convicted Monday in the stabbing death of a USC student. (18)

Travion T. Ford, who killed Bryan R. Frost, was found guilty of second-degree murder. (33)

The first sentence is better, but the second isn’t. Do I know he killed Bryan Frost? Not exactly. I’m probably safe here, since a jury convicted him and his defense admitted the killing (arguing self-defense). But juries make mistakes and people who are innocent sometimes lie (think John Mark Carr is the JonBenet Ramsey case), maybe I should rethink this.

LOS ANGELES — A 25-year-old Los Angeles man was convicted Monday in the stabbing death of a USC student. (18)

Travion T. Ford was found guilty of second-degree murder in the killing of Bryan R. Frost, 23. (35) He faces up to 16 years in prison when the sentencing phase begins Oct. 29. (50)

This is better. I have reported what I know and given a clearer understanding of what happened. Did I cheat by adding a third sentence? Probably, but I could just as easily remove that from the lede and make it the third paragraph. None of my ledes mention the first-degree possibility. It’s too hard to fit here. It isn’t critical, and I can include it later in the story as well.

4. Minister trial

WACO, Texas — A Baptist minister who smothered his wife to death to be with his mistress and covered the whole thing up as a suicide was convicted of first-degree murder Wednesday.

Matt Baker had drugged Kari Baker before killing her and wrote a phony suicide note for her.

This is a good start. I used delayed-identification because these aren’t household names. And I included details of the killing because they add news value; this isn’t just a husband killing his wife; it’s a minister doing it and doing it in a unique way.

We’re generally safe from libel issues once a jury has convicted, but it’s always good to only report what you know. Even after the case, it’s still possible this didn’t happen. It’s best if I couch my language. It would also be good to get 2006 in there.

WACO, Texas — A Baptist minister accused of smothering his wife to death to be with his mistress and covering the whole thing up as a suicide was convicted of first-degree murder in the 2006 killing Wednesday.

Prosecutors said Matt Baker drugged Kari Baker before killing her and wrote a phony suicide note for her.

This is much better. I wrote only what I know (what I personally witnessed): a jury convicting him and a prosecutor making claims about how it happened. The end of that first sentence is a little wordy, but I can live with it for now.

5. Poe’s mystery visitor

The Associated Press used a more creative type of lede on their version: “Is this tradition ‘nevermore’?” We’ll start writing clever and more advanced ledes in the coming weeks. For now, here’s my stab at a basic news lede for this story.

An anonymous visitor who has left roses and a half-empty bottle of cognac on Edgar Allan Poe’s grave each year since 1949 failed to show Wednesday on the author’s birthday, a Poe House and Museum official said.

Jeff Jerome, curator of the Poe House, said did not know why the “Raven” author’s devotee failed to make the annual trek to Westminster Hall and Burying Ground in Baltimore, Md., this year.

This sums up everything fairly well. Notice that I defined the mystery visitor and what he/she does in the lede. It’s important. I called Poe the “Raven” author in the second graf to avoid repeating his name again and to give a clue about whom he is to someone who recognizes the name but can’t quite place it.

6. Brittany Murphy death

Brittany Murphy’s mother and husband disputed rumors the late actress was on drugs and suffering from an eating disorder at the time of her Dec. 20 death in an interview with The Associated Press on Tuesday.

Sharon Murphy and Simon Monjack said the “Clueless” actress suffered from a heart condition, died of natural causes and didn’t touch alcohol, let alone illicit drugs.

“She would not take too much caffeine. She wouldn’t even have a glass of champagne on New Year’s,” Sharon Murphy said.

This is a pretty solid lede. The interview is not what makes this news; it’s the refutation of the rumors about the death that is. Lead with that.

Notice how this is still a delayed-ID lede. Brittany Murphy at this point is a household name, but her mother and husband are not. They are first identified only in relation to her.

I give the reader a clue as to who Brittany Murphy is in the lede — “the late actress” as a second reference — and again in the second paragraph — “the ‘Clueless’ actress as a third reference.

The quote is not part of the lede, but the second graf sets it up nicely.

Notice that everything is attributed to the mom and huband. I have no clue if Brittany Murphy was on drugs or not, so I don’t take their word for it. I merely report that they claimed she wasn’t.

USC students helping out the L.A. Times

Here’s an interesting note from a blog run by Gary Scott, a former coworker of mine: The L.A. Times is enlisting help from college students at USC to handle its homicide blog.

I think it is great that the Times is forging a real partnership with a university and hope other journalism companies will consider doing the same. There’s no substitute for experience in our field.

What we did Jan. 26

We had a very spirited discussion about race and word choice last class before moving into a very brief ledes workshop (I’m delaying most of what I had planned for Thursday to get our ledes workshop in).

I think we have three or so ideas I hope we all took from the discussion as we start writing news.

1. Every word matters. Make each one count.

We saw that words have specific meanings, and as journalists, we need to be very careful in choosing our words. We write about controversial and taboo topics, and we need the freedom to address such issues, but we also need to be very deliberate in our word choice to make sure we a) are being accurate and b) that our readers don’t come away with a different sense than we intended.

2. Be deliberate in your choices.

What you include, what you exclude and how you explain it will speak volumes to the meaning your reader takes from your story. Are you being precise in your wording? Are you giving your reader the focused set of facts they need? Are you giving them so many irrelevant facts that they are missing what’s important.

3. Your words have consequences.

Every word carries with it meanings, both denotations (text-book definitions) and connotations (the unofficial values that have been assigned to them). Are you aware of how your words are being received? Are you certain that that is the meaning you are intending?

Race and journalism

We’re going to talk a bit about race and racial descriptors in class tomorrow. Hopefully we’ll touch on representation and whether or not the media do a good job of depicting various groups, as well.

To get the ball rolling, take a look at this story by Time magazine about the use of the term Negro on the U.S. Census form. I’d be interested to know what our class thinks.

What we did Jan. 21

Continuing our overview of journalism, we went over the ABCs of the field (accuracy, brevity and clarity), looked at a news story from its inception to publication and tried our hand at the two most basic types of ledes.

Those ledes are summary ledes and delayed-identification ledes.

Summary ledes basically function to provide the reader with all critical information in one sentence. If your reader only gets through that sentence, he/she should still know the basics of what happened.

Delayed-identification ledes are similar, only one or more critical pieces of information are removed from the first sentence and placed into a second sentence to provide clarity. Most often, the name of one or more of the people involved is removed.

Readers are always looking for guidance, and whatever they see in your lede will spark their brain. If they see a name, they’re apt to ask themselves, “Who is this person? How do I know them?”

Delayed-ID ledes function best because they provide this clue to the reader. If a celebrity is involved in a crime, you can write “Robert Downey Jr. was arrested for …” as your lede, and your reader picks up on it. If a random person is involved in a crime, you can write, “A Norwalk man was arrested in the hit-and-run killing of three children at a bus stop Wednesday. Bob Smith, 37, was charged with vehicular manslaughter and leaving the scene of the crime.” The fact that we delay the identity of the random person immediately clues your reader in that they do not know Bob Smith. It’s what he did, not whom he is that makes this a story.

My ledes (Jan. 21 in-class assignment)

1. Rainstorms

Hundreds of residents of La Canada Flintridge, which was burned during last summer’s Station Fire, were evacuated to La Canada High School on Wednesday, while (25) a storm dumping 1 1/2 inches of rain in an hour (35) threatened to cause mudslides, fire officials said. (42)

Wow! This is a mouthful. I got all of the facts into one sentence, but I also made a mess of the whole thing. I’m writing about a storm, but I’m leading the sentence with information about a fire that’s nearly five months old. And I have so many facts before even mentioning the storm (26 words before storm) that I can’t imagine the reader will catch that that’s the focus of this story. It’s nice to get the attribution in, but does it need to be in the lede? It’s not like people will dispute the accuracy of the information presented, so it can go to a later sentence.

Let’s try dropping some of this information to a later sentence and give our lede for focus and clarity.

Hundreds were evacuated Wednesday, as the fiercest of a series of storms pounded La Canada Flintridge and threatened to cause mudslides across the city’s fire-charred hills.

Residents near areas scorched by last summer’s Station Fire were given shelter in the gym of La Canada High School while stormclouds dumped 1 1/2 inches of rain in an hour.

This is better. My first sentence has who, what, when, where (to some extent) and why. I delayed the name of the fire, the location of the evacuation shelter and the rain inch count until the second paragraph. They’re less critical than the blanket information in the first graph.

Storm is now my 12th word — much better.

I can add attribution in the third paragraph.

2. Mobile home killings

Eight family members were found dead in their mobile home Saturday and a ninth was in custody in Brunswick, Ga., police said. (22)

Guy Heinze Jr., who called 911 to report the crime, was arrested and charged with drug violations and tampering with evidence. (43)

I went with a delayed-identification lede, because the Heinze family isn’t famous. If I include Heinze family in the lede, my readers will immediately ask themselves, “How should I know them?” They’re even likely to suspect they’re reading about the heirs to the ketchup fortune, even if there’s an extra “e” on this name.

The first graph is stilted. Am I making a suspect out of Guy Heinze Jr.?

Police in Brunswick, Ga. were investigating the killings of eight members of a family in their mobile home Saturday. (19) A ninth family member, who reported the crime, was in custody on drug and tampering-with-evidence charges. (37)

I begin with police and no longer have Guy Heinze Jr. as a suspect. Should the focus be on the investigation or the killings? Does Saturday refer to police investigating or the discovery of the bodies?

Eight family members were found dead in their mobile home in Brunswick, Ga. on Saturday, and a ninth was booked on tampering with evidence charges, police said. (27)

Guy Heinze Jr., who made the initial 911 call, was also charged with drug violations. (42)

This is better. I get the tampering charge in the lede, so we immediately clarify that he was not arrested for the killings but get his arrest in nonetheless. The police are no longer the focus; the killings are.